snowstorm Pitt style

OK, I have this HUGE rubber essay I am working on but in the meantime I feel the mind dump of a late-20s man who is on the road in a Mid-major town that he has been put in unwillingly may be interesting. So here we go…

At the client. They are nice enough. They want the project to work. I am out of my mind because I imagine a cash register floating next to my head and it is adding up fast. I stare blankly. This happens a lot.

Tonight I had a night alone in Pittsburgh. I immediately made plans to go to Pitt campus (I deduced that downtown Pittsburgh was a ghost town on the week nights). I went to a bar&grill that served pizzas. I bought one and watched girls sipping on sodas. I was wearing a corduroy jacket and looked like a creepy English professor. I ate my food and talked to the bartender about baseball – the Reds specifically. He was jolted when I broke down Adam Dunn. He thought he was the star of the Reds.

And while we are here, let me just say, I am poutful (word?) knowing that I have to watch (let alone cheer for… let alone COUNT ON BEING THE OFFENSIVE POWERS OF THE TEAM) Adam FUCKING Dunn and Ken Griffey Jr. slob around the outfield another season. The thought of a deep drive into left-center, and observing those two pigs chasing the pill with disdain, makes me physically ill. The day Griffey walks away from this team, I dance alone in the street. In joy.

Whatever. I eventually went to a bar called ‘Hemmingways’, which is classic. At least to me. I worship Hemmingway (I think… I like his books but the idea of Hemmingway is probably more enticing..) so I went to this bar immediately. This IS the University of Pittsburgh bar. And I was standing in the middle with a cloud of furry hair, a smoking jacket, and a look of old that reeked of ‘ex-hipster’. I wanted every group of girl, who came neatly in packages of three. The dudes were terrible and I thought I would be a beacon of light that the moths would attract to. I was wrong. As usual. I stood in the middle and was brushed by like I was not there. So I eventually left. Nobody noticed.

And I drove home.

Super Colts

I am very encouraged by the Colts win in the football World Championship. It proves that a team built for offense, with a defense that can be pushed around, can actually win a Super Bowl. The 29-17 Indianapolis victory should put a smile on all fans in Bengaldom.

It shows that a team with a 16-game history of being stomped on (the Colts gave up over 170 yards rushing a game - worst in the league by almost 30 yards) can have an attitude adjustment and rise up when it matters most.

It shows that a finesse, passing team can beat ball-control, defense-centric teams - see Baltimore, New England, Chicago...

When the Colts outclassed the Bengals, beating them December 18 in a game that seems like it happened years ago, I felt Cincinnati could not win in the playoffs. This fear was supported after Cincy dumped their remaining two games. I just did not think they were close to winning a playoff game – not now or in the near future.

But now I feel better. The Colts have to some degree validated the Bengals personnel construction strategy. A dynamic offense can carry an average, opportunistic defense. Still, work needs to be done:

- The Bengals have to get some playmakers on defense. Manning threw seven interceptions in the playoffs. The Colts offense was mortal for stretches. It happens in the playoffs. When it does, you just have to get stops from your defense. You can live with a bend-but-don’t-break defense but every once in a while you need a defensive end to get a sack or a safety to light up a receiver or a corner to pick off a pass. The Bengals have emerging playmakers in Jonathan Joseph and Madieu Williams. That's about it. Odell Thurman's status is unknown. They need to work free agency but I don't know if they have the cash to do it.

- Draft a defensive end who can rush the passer. Draft another corner. Draft an interior defensive lineman.

- Cut Tory James and Deltha O’neal.

- Hire a full-time chaperone for Chris Henry (his probation states he is not allowed to go into a bar for 2 years. He can get drug tested at any time. Good luck with that.)

- Get an upper-tier corner back in free agency (Nate Clements, Buffalo?)

- Tweak the passing game. The Bears safeties were playing 18 yards off the line of scrimmage to take away the deep ball – teams do this to Cincy ALL THE TIME. What do the Colts do? They KILL you with underneath dump offs to the running backs and TEs.

- Hire more men to work in the front office. I have been reading a lot about hiring a General Manager - I did not realize that the Bengals were one of only six teams that did not have someone making personnel decisions stationed between the owner and the head coach. And none of those six teams have won a recent Super Bowl.


So there. I honestly think these off-field issues will go away. I think the Bengals could win 10+ games with this roster, a few breaks and an easier schedule. However, if they are going to beat Indianapolis/San Diego/New England in the playoffs, on the road, they need 3-4 more guys on defense. And that could take 2-3 more years to get.

Just ask Indianapolis.