2008 Reds eulogy

There were two plays on Sunday in consecutive innings that explained all you need to know about the 2008 Cincinnati Reds.

Ryan Freel led off the game with a sharp single up the middle. 3 pitches later, veteran Tom Glavine picked him off of first base. Freel tried to escape the out by playing a game of Frogger with the fielders. It was a sad and futile effort. In the second inning, the Reds again put the lead off man on base after Joey Votto drew a walk. The Reds, desperate for offensive action, called for a hit-and-run. Edwin Encarnacion missed the sign, took the pitch, and Votto was thrown out at second by 5 feet.

The Braves would score a touchdown in the 2nd inning and yawned their way to a series sweep. The Reds are now 12-20, losers of 5 in a row, and are tied for the worst record in professional baseball. And with 130 games left to play, the only thing we can be sure of is the Reds are on their way to their 8th losing season in a row. Postseason? Not even worth mentioning.

The Reds can't pitch (4.77 ERA 14th NL/26th in ML), can't hit (13th in NL/23rd in ML in runs scored) and can't run (67% 13th NL/24th in ML in stolen base %). Statistically, they are an average fielding team but those numbers are skewed since you can't get an error on balls you don't get to (see Dunn, Griffey).

The salary structure/roster makeup for this team has got to be the worst in baseball:

Adam Dunn, LF; 2008 salary: 13M; 2008 stats: .221 AVG, 4 HR, 13 RBI, 24 K
For his career, April has always been Dunn's strongest month. His numbers might go DOWN.

Ken Griffey Jr., RF; 2008 salary: 8.3M; 2008 stats: .228 AVG, 4 HR, 15 RBI, .310 OBP
38 years old going on 50. No pitcher fears him anymore. Every part of his game is slow.

Bronson Arroyo, P; 2008 salary: 4.6M; 2008 stats: 1-4, 8.63 ERA, 32.1 IP, 50 H, 8 HR
Arroyo will get salaries of $9.5 million in 2009 and $11 million in 2010.

David Weathers, P, 2008 salary: 3.3M; 2008 stats: 0-2, 4.91 ERA, 7.1 IP, 9 H
Sent down for rehab assignment in April. Presumed dead.

David Ross, C, 2008 salary: 2.5M; 2008 stats: .167 AVG, 0 HR, 0 RBI, 5 K
The Reds have lost every game (4) he has started at catcher this year.

Alex Gonzalez, SS, 2008 Salary: 4.6M; 2008 stats: has not played
On the DL until June. I could care less if he ever comes back.

Francisco Cordero, RP, 2008 Salary: 8.6M; 2008 stats: 2.25 ERA, 4 SVs, 12 IP, 12 K
What's the point of having a high-priced closer if he never gets any save opportunities?

Corey Patterson, CF, 2008 Salary: 3M; 2008 stats: .200 AVG, 4 HR, 11 RBI, .263 OBP
There's a reason Baltimore and Chicago gave up on this man. Make that reasons.

That's a grand total of 47.9M. Almost 50 million dollars going out to a group of players whose contributions are inconsistent, at best. That number comes out to 66% of the Reds total team salary of 72.3M. The Reds are hemorrhaging money on bad contracts. For small market baseball teams, the margin of error is small to begin with. Cincinnati has made a variety of bad signs that most big market teams could not recover from.

Owner Bob Castelini, in the press conference announcing the dismissal of former GM Wayne Krivsky, stated that the Reds "just aren’t going to lose anymore". Well, that made for a cool sound bite. But what does that really mean? The Reds don't have the resources to go out and sign more guys. They do, however, have some young talent in the minors (Bailey, Bruce, etc). Their development will take time. And more losses. Do the Reds have the patience?

Then again, the Reds are not winning WITH the likes of Dunn and Griffey in the lineup. Does their absence really hurt? Do they even make a difference? I say no.

Here's what the Reds need to do:

- Trade Dunn to an American League team after June 15 (he has a no-trade clause before that date); don't worry about getting market value because it is not going to happen – just get some prospects and be done with it
- After Griffey hits #600, try to trade him to Seattle. Be nice about it. Ask his permission. Take whatever they will give you. If he turns it down, let him finish the season and DO NOT pick up his 2009 club option. This needs to end.
- Sign Edwin Encarnacion to a long-term (4 years) contract. He's 25. He's coming into his own. Lock him up.
- Quit the 3-catcher carousel. One of these guys needs to go – probably Valentin. I don't know what happened to that portly Puerto Rican but he has morphed into a lazy pile.
- Try to move the contracts of Ryan Freel and Alex Gonzalez. A contender could use one of them. The Reds might have to eat some of their salaries. So be it.
- Pull Arroyo, give him an MRI, send him to the minors, call a witch doctor, hypnotize him, do something. This guy is on the books for 3 more years and there is not a sporting league in the world that will take him and his crazy price tag on. Pray that he is the not the second coming of Eric Milton. Pray hard.
- DO NOT let Dusty Baker ruin the young and brilliant arms of Johnny Cueto and Eddison Volquez. IT IS NOT HAPPENING THIS YEAR. So let them throw 175 innings or so and then SHUT THEM DOWN. (the capital letters indicates that I was yelling whilst typing)

The Reds, for seven long years, have not been able to do the little things necessary to win baseball games. They are woeful hitters with runners in scoring position. They rely too much on the home run (2008 Reds record when not homering: 1-10). They don't run the bases well. They miss assignments, miss cut off men and will miss October baseball. And you can hire Dusty Baker and fire GMs and make powerful speeches. But eventually, you just flat have to get some new guys to put in the uniforms.

So yeah, as you have gathered, the postseason dreams for the 2008 Reds have ended. I was wrong. Again. But the season is far from over. FOCUS. Say goodbye to the Dunn Griffer era. Take care of the young arms. Try to sucker teams into taking on some of the big salaries. Let the kids play. Cinco De Mayo and I am already rolling out the Reds eulogy. This is the team I have chosen.

Banging my Head

Being a sports fan is supposed to be easy. It's entertainment. That is it. An option to challenge movies, theatre, the outdoors, art stuff and every single thing we do every day that makes us smile and saves us from staring at a wall. And yet, the past times of life have me pounding a keyboard at 1am, alone, because the Cincinnati Reds have dropped to 9-11. Last place, and sinking to the bottom like a dead body tied to a stone.

The balanced man folds his love of sport within the fabric of his life and grabs it when he can. Celebrate the wins, forget the losses. Enjoy the spectacle that is sport; soak in the competition and singular acts of athletic greatness, and remind yourself that you are privy to a peaceful world with the time and means to build cathedrals that house and showcase it all. We have a system that filters and funnels tuned specialists assigned to deliver on command, under a microscope. For us and them.

We are the spectators. No pressure. Our cheers are joined. Our jeers and curses are unchallenged. And yes, we paid. So I guess we deserve something and have a version of rights. That golden ticket was to see a show. A victory was never promised, or even implied.

There is no right way. I have always dived in face first, arms tied behind my back. High risk, high reward. The rarefied air of victory, that sweetness, has been worth the burden of defeat. I think. Times of loss challenge everything. Why do I care how men I don't know play a sport? Who cares? Why should this affect my mood?

It all comes down to quality of entertainment. Sports are the great unknown. You do not know how a game/match/contest is going to end. And that's that. You might think you do, but just when you know everything, somebody smacks a 3-run home run and you are the fool. Sports is the movie without a script, that makes it up as it goes along. And within the boundaries of rules and time constraints, drama and beauty manifest.

So what? I don't know. But I feel better about going to bed pissed about the Reds. And I can't wait until they play tomorrow. I hope they win.

2008 Cincinnati Reds Scouting Report

Front office

Forgive me while I gush, but what's not to like? Here are just a few of my favorite things that the Castellini-Krivsky regime have done:

- Signed a legitimate staff ace, Aaron Harang, to a long term contract
- Renegotiated a signed a competitive, long-term contract with a budding superstar, Brandon Phillips
- Acquired key pieces (and bargaining chips) like Hatteberg, Phillips and Hamilton for next to nothing
- Made a splash in free-agency to address a weakness (Cordero – bullpen)
- Hired Former St. Louis Cardinals general manager Walt Jocketty, who built a perennial contender, as a special adviser to Krivsky (one extra brain and a little pressure on Krivsky)

They devised a plan and they executed it. The brain trust said they would focus on building a pitching staff and revamping the farm system. They have done both. The Reds have used their limited assets (Josh Hamilton being the prized pig) to acquire an army of pitchers to compete for a roster spot. They held competitive races this spring to fill the bottom half of the rotation. They picked the strongest arms, not just settled on the best of the worst. The Reds also boast 5 of the best prospects in all of baseball – 3 of them starting pitchers. It's all happening.

The Reds have also served notice that this is no longer small market, small move Cincinnati. Cordero was the top free agent reliever and the Reds signed him to big money. That was for today, but they also made moves for tomorrow. The Reds made a big splash in the Dominican Republic, giving a $2 million signing bonus to 16-year-old phenom outfielder Juan Duran. That's a symbolic sign, sending a message to the Big Boys that the Reds are players in the market.

Now excuse me while I got make love to my Castellini blow-up doll.

The Manager

When Johnnie B. Baker Jr. was hired as the Reds manager in the off-season, a disgruntled friend left a simple voice mail: "Dusty f-ing Baker". I felt the same way. Not that my reasons were logical – I was annoyed when he surrounded himself in the dugout with his 7 little sons during the 2002 World Series, was further irritated by his omnipresent toothpick and wrist bands when he guided the Cubs and I thought he looked like an iguana. This "evidence" will not win me any arguments on the topic of his managerial competence.

These are the facts:
- .527 career winning percentage
- 3-time NL Manager of the year
- Finished first or second in respective division 9 out of 14 years
- Guided the 2002 San Francisco Giants to the World Series (lost in 7 games to the Angels)
- 4 outs away from taking the 2003 Cubs to their first World Series since 1945

These are the perceptions:
- Knows how to turn around a losing franchise (1992 SF Giants: 72 wins, 1993 SF Giants: 103 wins; 2002 Chi Cubs: 67 wins; 2003 Chi Cubs: 88 wins)
- Gets all of his players to exert maximum effort
- Favors veterans of youth
- Will overwork and ruin the careers of young pitchers (ex. Kerry Wood, Mark Pryor)

At this point, I like the move. The Reds have been hiring within the organization this entire decade (see: Bob Boone, Ray Night, Dave Miley, Jerry Narron, Pete Mackanin) and the result is 7 straight losing seasons. They needed to go in a different direction. And if he can get Griffey and Dunn to play hard every day, he can sleep in my bed. His ultimate success, and reputation, will be determined by how he handles the mix of veterans and future stars. All eyes will be watching. And he knows it.

Pitching rotation

1. Harang
2. Arroyo
3. Cueto
4. Fogg
5. Volquez

Batting order (opening day)

1. Patterson (L - CF)
2. Keppinger (R - SS)
3. Girffey Jr. (L - RF)
4. Phillips (R - 2B)
5. Dunn (L - LF)
6. Encarnacion (R – 3B)
7. Votto (L – 1B)
8. Ross (R – C)


Starting Pitching

The Reds have three young arms that could provide the foundation for championship seasons. And the least impressive is Homer Bailey. That's a good thing. Johnny Cueto and Eddison Volquez are the talk of spring (in and beyond the Reds camp) while Bailey is headed to Louisville. Harang is a bonafide ace whereas Arroyo looks to bounce back after a disappointing, though misleading, 15-loss season. Fogg is a cheap addition that could win 10 games. I like the combination of different tempos the Reds can run out in any given series (Harang: power pitcher, Arroyo: finesse, Cueto: power with finesse, Fogg: finesse, Volquez: power). If Cueto and Volquez can produce over a full Major League season (that's a monster "if"), the Reds will contend for the division title.

Aaron Harang (R) – (2007 – 16-6, 3.73 ERA, 231.2 IP, 218 K)
Harangutan finished 4th in the NL Cy Young voting and was the undisputed Reds MVP. The Reds were 24-10 in the games Harang started; 48-80 in the games he did not. He's a big sweaty beast (275 lbs) who pounds the strike zone and rarely lets an inning get out of hand. He has once facial expression: blank, empty stare. That works for pitchers and poker players.

Bronson Arroyo (L) – (2007 – 9-15, 4.23 ERA, 210.2 IP, 156 K)
He was the hard-luck pitcher of '07. After 9 starts, Arroyo had an ERA of 2.64 and his record was 2-4. In that 9th start, which I believe broke his will, he pitched a complete game and lost 3-2. That was on May 16. He would not win again until July 5. Arroyo is a pitcher that will rise to the occasion – but he needs an occasion to rise to. If the Reds are 10 games back in June and he is pitching in a half-empty ballpark with comatose crowds, he'll pack it in and work on another terrible cover album. If the Reds are in the hunt, he will pitch his ass off every time. And you know, I can't even knock him for that.

Johnny Cueto (R) – (2008 Spring Training – 0-0, 5.27 ERA, 13.2 IP, 12 K)
Major League scouts have been drooling over themselves in their praise for Cueto, some calling him the second coming of Pedro Martinez. Example: "Cueto has been putting on a show from day one, blowing mid-90s fastballs past good hitters, freezing them with his dive-bombing slider, throwing invisible changeups on any count and doing it all with a presence and command that makes it tough to believe he's still only 21." Fortunately, he doesn't understand a lick of English so this praise should not go to his head. Cueto has up and grabbed the #3 spot by the throat. He's got the coolest name on the roster and is the guy everyone is waiting to see.

Josh Fogg (R) – (2007 – 10-9, 4.94 ERA, 165.2 IP, 94 K)
This reminds me of the Dave Williams acquisition the Reds made a couple years ago. Don't remember Williams? There's a reason for that. Fogg's a guy who wins and loses 10 games a year and has a hard time convincing women that he is a professional athlete. He won game 7 for the Rockies in the 2007 NLCS. That looks nice on the resume. The Rocks offered him 3.5M to pitch this year. He wanted 5M. They told him to step. Now he pitches for the Reds for 1M. Savvy.

Eddison Volquez (R) – (2007 – 2-1, 4.50 ERA, 34.0 IP, 29 K)
This is the pitcher the Reds got in the Josh Hamilton deal; the same Josh Hamilton that was a fan favorite and who the Texas Rangers (his new team) are comparing to Mickey Mantle. But don't worry. To paraphrase Marty Brenneman: if Hamilton goes out and hits 50 home runs for the Rangers this year, the Reds will still not miss him and be very happy with the trade. That's good enough for me. He is among the spring leaders in Ks, and he racked those up facing the full lineups of the Yankees, Red Sox and Phillies.

Bullpen

The Reds big move in free agency was acquiring closer Francisco Cordero. Analysts either loved the move or thought the Reds overpaid. There is truth on both sides. But the Reds had to make a bold move to solidify a group that blew 28 saves last season. And that does not include another pile a games they sucked away in the 6th, 7th and 8th innings. The theory is that Cordero's presence at the back shifts the other arms into their appropriate slots – Weathers gets the 8th, Burton gets the 7th.

At this point, the roster is still in flux. These guys have spots locked down.

Francisco Cordero (R) – (2007 – 0-4, 2.98 ERA, 44 Sv, 63.1 IP, 86 K)
He's the lock down, angry, bad breath stopper every team likes. 46M is a lot to pay a 32-year old closer. I hope he's worth it. He assumes all of the pressure and scrutiny that will be directed towards the bullpen.

David Weathers (R) – (2007 – 2-6, 3.59 ERA, 33 Sv, 77.2 IP, 48 K)
38 years old and his chin has still not grown in. The Reds saddled the crafty Weathers with carrying the load last year, and he did an admirable job. He led the Majors in multiple-inning saves. That's a lot to ask a middle-aged reliever with average stuff. Now he moves to the 8th, which was the inning of doom for the Reds in '07. He should do fine, assuming he doesn't break down.

Jared Burton (R) – (2007 – 4-2, 2.51 ERA, 43.0 IP, 36 K)
Burton was dynamite in the 2nd half of the '07 season, compiling a 4-1 record and 1.83 ERA. He has been less than spectacular this spring. He gets the ball in the seventh until further notice.

Todd Coffey (R) – (2007 – 2-1, 5.82 ERA, 51.0 IP, 43 K)
He's big, he's hairy, he's orange, he's hot coffey! Coffey was the poster boy/scapegoat for the bullpen's woes last year. And he was awful. But he has a good fastball and hard slider. He just has to flush out the junk between his ears. He has pitched 11 shutout innings this spring, if that does anything for you.

Matt Belilse (R) – (2007 – 8-9, 5.32 ERA, 177.2 IP, 125 K)
Lost the 5th starting spot to the Volquez. We'll see how he takes the demotion. He'll be the primary long reliever, and get some starts along the way. He'll toss a gem every once in a while and he has a good fastball/change up combo; he also loses his cool when the game doesn't go his way.

Jeremy Affeldt (L) – (2007 – 4-3, 3.51 ERA, 59.0 IP, 46 K)
Affeldt was promised a chance at the rotation and was given that chance. Not as such. But he is more valuable in the bullpen, as he proved last year with Colorado, and he better serves the Reds in that role. Besides, the Reds need more lefties in the pen.


Defense

The Reds do not boast a defense that is going to bail their pitchers out of games. They do just enough not to blow games. Most of the time. The infield is solid but not spectacular. Their strength is up the middle – David Ross throws out 41% of runners, Brandon Phillips is a superstar and should have won a gold glove in '07 and the Gonzalez/Keppinger tandem at short is good enough. The Reds feature the slowest corner outfielders in the Major Leagues in Griffey and Dunn. They don't exactly cut off doubles headed to the gap. Corey Patterson will start the season in center. Jay Bruce is the stud in waiting - the Reds gave him a shot in spring at landing the job in CF. He is better suited to play a corner position. I doubt there will be much sorrow in the Reds high offices when Griffey misses time with an injury this season – that will be their excuse to get Bruce in the lineup in a position he is better suited for.


Offense

Until proven otherwise, Reds offense still sings the same tune. This is from last year's scouting report: "…the Reds lineup boasts a nice combination of speed and power. It’s the in-between stuff that is lacking. And by ‘stuff’ I mean bunting, situational hitting, sacrifice flies, working the count, protecting with two strikes, base running… you know, baseball. This team can be maddening on offense. They waste leadoff doubles and abandon men in scoring position. And the horrible thing is that this is the same tune we have heard for years. Nothing has changed. Too many strike outs, not enough timely hitting." So here we are again. Adding Corey Patterson (struck out 168 times in 2004) seems like more of the same. Keppinger and Hatteberg give you the most professional at bats. I look forward to watching Bruce and Votto. And I do like the mix of right hand/left hand batters.

Infield

Scott Hatteberg (L – 1B) – (2007 - .310 BA, .394 OBP, 10 HR, 47 RBI, 27 2B, 50 R)
If the Reds were down to their last out with the bases loaded in the 7th game of the World Series, I would want Hatteberg at the plate. He's a true professional. Smart player, pure hitter, underrated fielder, good man in the clubhouse. He's also expendable, with the emergence of Joey Votto. He might be traded before seasons end, unless Votto wets himself.

Joey Votto (L – 1B) – (2007 – in 24 games - .321 BA, .360 OBP, 4 HR, 17 RBI)
The first basemen of the near and present future. At 24, he's part of the Reds army of young talent. He'll platoon with Hatteberg until he proves he can play every day. This would be fine, if they were not both left-handed. I have no idea how Baker is going to work them both in. He went 3 for 3 with a HR is his first game for the Reds last year. He could be a beast this year, if he gets a chance.

Brandon Phillips (R – 2B) – (2007 - .288 BA, .331 OBP, 30 HR, 32 SB, 94 RBI)
In 2007, Phillips became the first player in Reds franchise history to go 30/30 (hrs and steals). You should read that sentence again. Phillips is a superstar. He has power to all fields, can hit for average and he can run. He also has fantastic range at second and has the arm of a short stop (his original position). The only thing that could get in his way is an inflated sense of self and questionable plate discipline (109 Ks to only 33 BBs in '07)

Alex Gonzalez (R - SS) – (2007 - .272 BA, .325 OBP, 16 HR, 55 RBI, 75 K)
Gonzalez had a good year in '07, hitting 24 points above his career average – and still struck out 75 times. He missed over 50 games due to injuries and family matters. Scouts always talk about his great range at SS, but I don't recall seeing him do anything spectacular. But maybe that is because he makes the tough play look routine.

Jeff Keppinger (R – SS) – 2007 – in 67 games - .332 AVG, .400 OBP, 5 HR, 32 RBI, 16 2B)
All Keppinger has done, at every level, is hit. However, he does not do any one thing with greatness (power, speed, defense) so he always finds himself the odd man out. I want him to be the starting SS. End of discussion. The Reds need high average/on base guys to balance out the high risk/high reward lineup. But that job has been bestowed to the veteran Gonzalez. However, Gonzalez is starting the season on the DL. So if Kepp can come out on fire, Gonzo could be trade fodder.

Edwin Encarnacion (R – 3B) – (2007 - .289 AVG, .356 OBP, 16 HR, 76 RBI, 86 K)
I think we all forget that this guy is only 25 years old. I have heard mutterings that he is a "disappointment" and will never evolve into an every-day third basemen. Come on. He's been learning on the job and is on the verge. A lot of teams would like to have a problem like EE. I smell a breakout year – 25 HRs, 90 RBI. Write that down.


Outfield

Ken Griffey Jr. (RF – L) – (2007 - .277 AVG, .372 OBP, 30 HR, 93 RBI, 85 BB, 99 K)
This is Griffey's 20th season in the bigs. That's a pile. He will hit his 600th HR in May. He played in 144 games last year, his most since 2000. His bat has slowed down but his swing is still pretty. He doesn't embarrass himself in the outfield and knows his limitations. Dusty might even inspire him to hustle on the base paths this year, which would be novel. He's an old pro and a class act. But I won't miss him when he's gone.

Adam Dunn (LF – L) – (2007 - .264 AVG, .386 OBP, 40 HR, 106 RBI, 101 BB, 101 R, 165 K)
He's a statistical beast, for sure. He has hit exactly 40 HRs in 3 straight seasons and is a sure bet to hit triple digits in runs, walks and RBI. Of course, this is the time of year where you might hear some crazy talk like "Dunn's been hitting the ball to all fields and shortens his swing now with two strikes". Don't believe the hype. When the curtain goes up, the real Dunner will stand up. Big swings, big bombs, big whiffs and a perpetual look of apathy. Whatever. I'm over it. I don't mind him on this team but I am certain that he gets embarrassed by good pitching in a playoff series. Let's get there first.

Corey Patterson (CF – R) – (2007 - .269 AVG, .304 OBP, 8 HR, 45 RBI, 37 SB)
He was the next big thing in Chicago back in 2000. A perennial 30/30 All-star. It didn't work out. Now he gets a fresh start in Cincinnati and the opening day start. Buster Olney from ESPN calls this signing one of the steals of the off-season. His .300 OBP is terrible for a lead off hitter, and that is where he will be. Let's hope for new beginnings.

Norris Hopper (OF – R) – (2007 - .329 AVG, .371 OBP, 14 RBI, 14 SB, 51 R)
Hopper saw time at every outfield position last year and performed at each one. He gets on base, he scores runs and he makes things happen. He bunts for hits! I love that stuff. He's a speedy breath of fresh air from the Dunn/Griffey lazy river. His play has made Ryan Freel expendable. Freel could be traded by the break.


Catchers

David Ross (R) – (2007 - .203 AVG, .271 OBP, 17 HR, 39 RBI, 92 K)
This is the weakest position group in the Reds organization. Ross barely made it above the Mendoza line last year and his career numbers (.222 lifetime average) indicate that his ceiling is not much higher. On the occasions when his bat touches the ball, it goes out of the park. Enjoy those moments. He has a big arm and plays the position well – that is why he is on the team.

Javier Valentin (Switch) – (2007 - .276 AVG, .328 OBP, 2 HR, 34 RBI, 21 2B)
I love me some Valentin. He's the perfect platoon catcher for Ross because he can hit and he speaks Spanish so he can handle all the English-deficient pitchers. He's also the perfect pinch hitter (led the Reds with 10 pinch hits in 2007) because he switch hits, is fearless and he comes up hacking. He never gets cheated at the plate. I often wonder why he is not the every day catcher. His 11% mark at throwing out runners has something to do with that.


Projection

The Reds pitching staff is as talented, top to bottom, as the 1995 staff – the last time they won a postseason series. They have a deep enough team to sustain injuries. They have a manager desperate to prove himself. They have quality pieces that can be traded (Hatteberg, Freel, Votto, Bailey) mid-season for a starter that can put them over the top. On the other hand, two of their 5 starting pitchers are unproven rookies. They struggle to score runs when not hitting home runs and their defense is average.

The Reds have not had a winning season for 7 years. Regardless, I sit here every year and believe they can win the division. Old habits die hard.

89 – 73, 1st place in the Central Division. Get there.

Bearcats 2007-08; RIP

Watching Deonta Vaughan and his desperate attempt to drag the carcasses of his teammates into the second round of the Big East tournament, I was saddened knowing that this was the last time I would see the 2007-08 Bearcats play hoop. Others may snort and exclaim arrogant relief that this 13-win excuse for a squad was finally dead. They were wrong. Here comes the inaugural College Basketball Invitational. C – B – to the I. Look out NIT. Somebody's got a cooler acronym and they are breathing down your neck.

During the season, I had a prepared speech that I would break out on unfortunates in ear shot, back in the depths of winter. Something about how I enjoyed this version of the Bearcats more than all of the 25+ win campaigns filled with high rankings, ass-kickings and early tournament exits. Something more about how this team was "scrappy" and was taking down more talented teams with nothing but guile, grit and a scoring machine named Vaughan. And though the dialogue was canned, I meant it.

I was and still am desperate for a Cincinnati winner. The Bengals are frauds. The Reds are in Florida. The Bearcats were the now. The pre-conference schedule was horrific, with stink losses to Belmont and Bowling Green. But then they fought with Xavier (a game they gave away) and annoyed Memphis for a good 35 minutes. However, with a 5-7 record coming into conference play, a replay of the last year's 2-win conference record seemed imminent.

The Cats won at Louisville on New Year's day. Back-to-back wins against Syracuse and Villanova drove their conference record to 3-1. Curiosity. The Cats would tally wins at West Virginia and against Pittsburgh. The high water mark was 13-12, with a strong 8-5 Big East mark. The Cats were amongst the goliaths when the Big East standings graphics would flash. The tournament was in sight. Cronin demanded respect. Sucker fans studied the schedule and notched wins. Basketball was fun again.

And then the Cats ran out of gas and dumped. The margin of error, miniscule against an average team, was breached. Vaughan was doubled on every possession and the remaining staff could not fill the scoring void. The report card would read 5 games under .500.

So what happened this season? The Cats improved two wins from 2006-07. Four seniors gobbled up minutes and will never be seen again. Freshmen saw little time. You could argue the season was a waste. But I needed those 8 Big East wins. I needed to care again. I needed to stress through every possession and turnover and missed lay-up and rimmed out 3-pointer. I needed some success, however fleeting. Just to remember.

I don't fault Cronin for trying to steal some wins with seniors that should have never been on the roster in the first place. He's paid to win first, prepare for the future second. He did his job. I believe in him and the program. I have to.

And just maybe, when the Cats are cutting down the nets after winning the Midwest regional final in 2010, you will clink your glass with a bar mate and mutter "remember Adam H"? Oh, the laughs you will have. I wonder where a large Polish man with limited basketball skills and a University of Cincinnati degree goes from here. I was never able to hate him. I always thought his next point-blank shot would find the hole. I wanted him to succeed but his mind and body would not let him. He will soon be a footnote in Cincinnati basketball history. A scarlet letter "H", symbolizing the dark hour of a storied program. But I will always raise my glass to that rascal, and this team. They were just bad enough to make me appreciate the great times, and just good enough to make me hope for the future.

Level 3 Snow

“The battle against Mother Nature”

That is an actual headline that I saw this afternoon on local television, while a casual 2 inches of condensed water fell softly to the Cincinnati ground. That’s just disgusting dramatics. And typical of this town.

If any other city/town/territory in the Contintental U.S. gets more excited about the weather, I want to visit and slap the mayor. 15 minutes of every 22-minute news broadcast is devoted to climate conditions (the other 7 minutes being a hodgepodge of the daily murder, fire and tips to save money on your heating bill). Meteorologists are celebrities and have at their disposal NASA-level (is that a good thing anymore?) advanced technology and equipment. Radar. Doppler. Virtual weather machines with trending capability. Data prediction models. Explosives – just in case.

They know their audience. People in Cincy love themselves a good chat about the weather. If you were insane enough to navigate through the gloom and can report on the conditions of multiple neighborhoods and traffic affairs, you are an instant hero. Grown men will call sports talk radio and give an update on their surroundings – and the news is welcomed and appreciated. Every stinking conference call I have the misfortune of running into is christened by 5 minutes of weather shop talk. “How’s it where you are? Really? Oh man, it’s coming your way. I hope you bought canned goods and fire arms.”

Analysts predict “up to 10-inches of snow” by Saturday night in the tri-state area. If there is 3 inches of accumulation, I owe everyone and their mother a coke. I can imagine the frantic school board meetings and administrators making tough decisions on school closings. “Lives are at stake, people. Social Studies can wait until Monday!” All the while, the local stations hunker down into emergency coverage. There is no more news today worth talking about.

My cable man, scheduled to pump digital signals into my talking box, cancelled because the area is in a “Level 3 Snow Emergency”. Terrific. Now all I have are books and a view of bundled men clearing their sidewalks as their wives watch with concerned looks from the window. “My husband is a brave man. He risked his life today so that we could have a safe sidewalk. For that, we shall have tacos”.

I will spare you my rant about snow drivers. I will only say that unless you are in the Rose Parade, it is never acceptable to go 10 MPH. Ever.

So I guess you win this battle, Mommy Nature. Then again, you have given us all a fake crisis to complain and fret and babble about for the whole weekend. So maybe we win. Let’s just call it a draw.

2008 Sundance Report

For my fellow cinema aficionados...

My girlfriend jumped me a few months ago. She called while I was out of town and exclaimed "HEY! I am about to buy us a travel package to go to the Sundance Film Festival! You in?" This is not how I like to plan vacations. But I did not want to be a stick-in-the-mud so I muttered "yes".

It turned out to be good times.

Quick overview:

- The weather hovered around 20-25 degrees but we dressed well
- While cold, the air was crisp and the sun was usually out
- It had snowed hard the week before and the leftovers were piled high on the sidewalks
- Public transportation was free and efficient - we went everywhere by bus
- Not as many Hollywood types (snobbish-looking people with phones attached to ears) as I anticipated
- It was easy to get in to bars and coffee shops and restaurants (though we did not go to the fancy places and were not privy to the cool parties)
- Movies were showing in 4 places - Salt Lake City, Park City, Ogden and the Sundance Resort
- Park City (home of Sundance) had the most theatres, with 8 (we saw films in 6 of the 8 venues)
- Advanced tickets for all screenings were $15

We only had tickets to around 3 movies before we got to Sundance. To get tickets, there were 3 options:
- Visit the box office (preferably in the AM) to see if any tickets were re-released (we traded in a few of our previously purchased tickets for other shows - they let you do this for a $2 fee per ticket)
- Wait List - All movies had an available wait list. This is how it worked: arrive 2 hours before the screening of the film and get a wait list # (for a hot movie, you needed to get there 2.5 hours before screening...). Return 30 minutes before screening and arrange yourself in line according to your wait list #. 15 minutes before screening, the Sundance Program operators will begin to determine how many wait list people can get into the movie. Wait list tickets were $10. We had mixed results (I got into 2 of the 4 movies I attempted to wait list)
- Scalpers - Some people overbought and would try to sell their extras at the box office or at venues. It was an unspoken rule that all tickets sold in this manner should not be pushed for over face value

Quick aside:

Lizi has a friend who is the manager for a musician from Cincinnati. The muscisian is a Iraqi war veteran who sings anti-war songs. He was featured in a documentary about the Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young (CSNY) 2006 tour. Trying to build off the buzz of the movie (which was playing at Sundance), the musician (Josh Heisel) traveled to Utah to play some gigs. Lizi agreed to video tape one of these shows (therefore, she had to drag her video equipment across the country… which meant I had to drag her video equipment across the country… good times). So, we hung out with this crew a couple nights. That was interesting.

Ok, here we go with the movies:

5 oinks - classic
4 oinks - great, could watch it again anytime
3 oinks - good
2 oinks - decent but I was checking my watch waiting for it to end
1 oink - blech

Frozen River - oink, oink, oink, half-oink

Drama about a poor woman trying to bring up her two boys in rural upstate New York. Her husband has ran off to gamble away their savings and her only wish is to buy a double wide and move her boys out of their pitiful trailer. She collides with a Indian woman living on a reservation. This woman is trying to get her son back, who is being held by her mother-in-law. She is also a smuggler, and her cargo is people. She helps illegals cross over the USA-CAN border through the reservation. They form a partnership in order to make the cash they desperately need. This movie was raw, real, sad and great. They did a nice job building suspense and I cared for the characters.

Good Dick - oink, oink, oink, oink

Terrible title, great movie. This was about a depressed, hermit of a young woman who has a penchant for watching bad pornography. A clerk at the movie store she frequents falls in love with her and decides to save her from her dark hole of a life. They form a unique friendship. Though the backdrop of porn was a bit crude, the movie did not get sloppy with easy jokes and raunchy dialogue. Great movie.

Pretty Bird - oink, oink, oink

A wannabe business man cons his friend into bank rolling his idea of building a "rocket belt" (like a rocket back pack a single man can fly around in). He finds an unemployed engineer to build his belt. It started off as a clever comedy and got quite dark. By the end, I hated the con man so much that I could barely see straight. Which is the mark of good film making.

I Always Wanted to be a Gangsta - oink, oink

French with subtitles. I really thought this was going to be great. Not so much. 4 overlapping (but not intertwining) stories that are all connected by a cafeteria off the interstate in France. Shot in black and white, in an effort to be artsy. It was cute, and some of the dialogue was clever, but I was bored in a hurry. This was also the last movie I saw for the week so maybe I was worn out.

Mermaid - oink, oink, oink, oink, half-oink

Russian with subtitles. Story about a young girl's evolution from child to young woman. From rural beach-side Russia (yes, they have a beach) to Moscow. This movie is hard to describe but it was fantastic. The music was great. It was funny. It moved well. It was almost perfect. Something happened at the end that was absurd, but other than that, big oinks.

CSNY Deja Vu - oink, oink, half oink

Documentary about the Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young 2006 tour. Nothing better than watching 60-year old men rock out on stage. It turns out that the tour was more of traveling anti-war rally than a rock concert. I felt bad for the people who shelled out $150 to watch 90 minutes of Bush hate spewed by old hippies. I have seen rock documentaries before, so whatever. I guess some of the anti-war commentary was good, but nothing new.

Animation Spotlight - oink, oink

Collection of animated shorts. Some where good, some weren't. Different animation styles in each that made it interesting but on a whole I was disappointed.

If you look real close you can see that the screen says "Sundance '08' - trust me.

Dark days in NOLA

As distance grows from last weekend, nostalgia will take over and I will reflect back with a smile. But right now I am licking fresh wounds.

I traveled to New Orleans to watch Ohio State play in the BCS Championship game. I was a deep second alternate to go, but somehow two men in front dropped out and I was presented with a ticket at face value (well, it was damn close) and a ride down. I took both.

The positives of wandering, wild days in New Orleans are plenty. The food, music, energy and pervasive vibe of this old and loud town are unmatched. Or at least unique. There was a lot of laughter, camaraderie and loud talking. Our hosts in the Bayou were gracious and proud.

But. I was under a cloud from the start. I thought traveling to the college football championship was a good thing. A once in a lifetime thing. I was corrected. My girlfriend was not happy, feeling my decision to go down was selfish and over-indulgent. My parents thought it ridiculous and stupid, and showered me with shame. And my work was apathetic - they are Chicago boys. They don't care about college football or even knew the game was being played. All they knew was that it was Monday and time to work.

I went anyway. There was defiance in my travels. I was determined to do New Orleans THE RIGHT WAY. I was not going to be another chump at a touristy bar, swaying in a puddle of urine. I was going to swap stories with true creoles and argue with a gypsy. And it was not a bad performance. We ate alligator, rabbit, craw fish and all sorts of bowls filled with Cajun delights. We hit a swamp tour. We toured the city. We went to local jazz bars that did not have a Bourbon St. address.

But. I have reached a point in my life where comfort is more important than partying. A 12-hour car drive is too long. Sharing a stale, dinky hotel room with 3 other men is too gross. Partying anywhere, let alone New Orleans, for 4 straight days is too much. I was stressed and stretched and manic. My mood swings were distinct and violent - in the morning I was unreachable and full of venom. By mid day, I was relaxed, introspective and shy. In the evening, I was the mayor of smile town. And in the morning, back again.

The game was a blur. High energy at the beginning. And then the slow slide to doom. Until the Big 10 gets much, much better, Ohio State (or any team from that conference) will always lose these games. They just are not battle-tested. LSU plays in nasty scuffles against tough opponents every single week. They can handle adversity and playing from behind. Not OSU. The second things started going bad, it was over. And there it is.

The day after the question was why. Why do I funnel so much of my energies towards a silly football team filled with over-sized college boys that I don't know? Why do I subject myself to such a debilitating physical and financial assault?

When you lose, it all seems folly. And maybe it is. And I tell myself that I will never again, ever, subject myself to such a trip as long as I live. And if the Buckeyes make it to Miami next year for the 'ship (they could, because they are young and their schedule will still be weak... except for a trip to USC in September)... you can count me out. I'll catch it on the television.

But nostalgia is a funny thing. By next month, all I will remember from NOLA will be horns and jambalaya and large rum drinks under the sweet southern sky. Another trip to the 'ship? Hmmmmmm... maybe THIS time it will be different...