Go Chiefs

I hope the Bengals lose to the Chiefs.

The 1, 2, 5 & 6 seeds in the AFC are set. The Steelers are going to demolish the Lions at home and secure the 6th seed in the playoffs. This is a foregone conclusion. The 6th seed automatically plays the 3rd seed which will be Cincinnati if they defeat the Chiefs on Sunday. If the Bengals lose and the Patriots defeat the Jets (no small feat anymore), the Pats get the 3 seed and the Bengals take the 4.

The Bengals do not want to play the Steelers. They will say they do. They don’t. Can you imagine spending the bulk of your grade school years being pushed around by the school bully? Every day, he punches you in the arm and takes your milk money. Finally, one afternoon you swat him in the mouth, land a kick in his chins and claim the upper hand before the science teacher breaks it up. You’ve won. Applause rains in from the swing sets. Days later the fight is described as a cage match from Wrestlemania X. You are the man. Then the next week you go out to play 4-square and the bully wants another go. And this time he has a stick.

The Steelers have won their last three games by a combined score of 80-12. Chicago, Minnesota and Cleveland have managed one touchdown and two field goals in 12 quarters. Roethlisberger’s thumb is better. They are ready and sick of hearing how the power in the AFC North has switched from the Burgh to the Nati. Pittsburgh wants Cincinnati’s head on a plate.

Yes, the game would be in Paul Brown Stadium. That means nothing. The Steelers are 4-0 in PBS the past four years. They laugh at hostile stadiums. I think they even prefer that the game would be in Cincinnati so they can make a mess in the Bengals backyard and leave them to clean it up.

Palmer has looked human of late. Big Ben will not throw another 3 interceptions. I do not feel good about this at all. But I’ll tell you what I DO feel good about…

Cincinnati v. Jacksonville. The Jaguars are beat up – Taylor is suspect every play and Leftwich is doubtful. In fact, I hope Leftwich DOES come back. He has not taken a live snap since Thanksgiving. The Jags could only muster 10 points against the 49ers, just two weeks ago. Their best receiver is old man Jimmy Smith. And never underestimate the effect of cold weather on a southern team. They cannot come into Cincinnati and beat the Bengals.

And yes, the Bengals would have to go to Indianapolis the next round. Who cares? You have to eventually go to the RCA Dome anyway. I would rather go sooner than later. The Colts will not have played a meaningful game in over a month. The psyche of the team is still reeling from the loss of Dungy’s son. They are bound to be rusty. And if the Bengals can get a lead, you may sense a wave of panic trickle through the Indianapolis crowd. ‘Oh my god – we almost went undefeated and now we are losing at home in out FIRST play off game! Holy crap, throw it deep so we can get a score.’ Who knows, maybe Manning starts chucking that piggy at the men in orange.

I think the Bengals lose to the Steelers at home in round one. And that would be embarrassing. I would not be able to watch SportsCenter for weeks. ‘Looks like the kittens were not ready for prime time after all! The Steelers show the ‘Gals who rules the North. Redemption for Steel town.’ Not good times.

I would say to coach Marvin Lewis that he should tank the game against KC but I don’t think that is necessary. The Chiefs don’t lose at home – not at this time of the year and not with Larry Johnson running with a purpose. And when the final gun fires, Kansas City will be 10-6 and go home so they can watch the playoffs on television, the Steelers will make plans for New England where they will lose and the Bengals will begin preparations for Jacksonville. And I will be smiling.

The Mask of Bengal

Where to go

Writer's note: my post from June, titled 'Mt. Wilhelm', was missing an entire section. The last two days of this climbing diary did not make the site. Which is a shame because that was one of my favorite posts. And now no one is reading this anymore so I am talking to myself. Hi Mark! Looking good, bud.

Cincinnati. I have come full circle. Everyone was excited to hear about my trip for about 20 minutes. Those minutes are long gone. The novelty of my return has faded. And it should - I did not expect or want people to gush over me forever. Though, I admit that I liked attention. It's strange; I enjoyed talking about my experience the first couple weeks. And then I got bored with hearing my face spew out the same stories. And now no one asks anymore. So I find myself trying to drop hints of my trip to strangers at bars:

stranger: You know, that Bengals victory over the Chicago Bears is starting to look very good. At the time, it just seemed like a sloppy victory over a bad team. But the Bears are good.

Me (seeing my opportunity): Well, I wouldn't know. You have to understand, I was OVERSEAS when that game was played so I did not see it.

stranger: They won 24-7. Forced 5 turnovers. They needed them too because the Bears defense is top notch.

Me: Speaking of defense, you really get to understand the range of the United States military when you are OVERSEAS for 7 months.

stranger: If the Bengals played the Bears today, I am not sure who would win.

Me: I WAS OVER F**CKING SEAS FOR 7 MONTHS YOU TWIT!!

stranger (startled and looking for anyone else to talk to): ummmm, what were you doing overseas?

Me: Wellll, since you asked... In March I took on a journey of self-discovery and adventure that took me halfway...


One last thing before we bury the South Pacific. The transition back to the USA has been easy. If I had been gone 2 years, it could have been a different story. Besides, I got a buffer with 3 weeks in Australia. My current project at work is not high-stress which has allowed time to acclimate. It's good to be with friends again and around people that you can talk to on a variety of levels. Because of the limited scope the people had in PNG, we just did not have that much to talk about. The holidays are here again so it feels like I just skipped from 2004 Christmas to 2005. I felt like I had changed radically as a person but after 5 minutes with my family I was cracking the same jokes and in my car I was listening to sports talk radio and yelling at traffic. I am happy. I love ole Cincinnati. And the Bengals are 9-3.

OK. We're moving forward from here. Cincinnati 101. I have no idea what that means.