Go Chiefs

I hope the Bengals lose to the Chiefs.

The 1, 2, 5 & 6 seeds in the AFC are set. The Steelers are going to demolish the Lions at home and secure the 6th seed in the playoffs. This is a foregone conclusion. The 6th seed automatically plays the 3rd seed which will be Cincinnati if they defeat the Chiefs on Sunday. If the Bengals lose and the Patriots defeat the Jets (no small feat anymore), the Pats get the 3 seed and the Bengals take the 4.

The Bengals do not want to play the Steelers. They will say they do. They don’t. Can you imagine spending the bulk of your grade school years being pushed around by the school bully? Every day, he punches you in the arm and takes your milk money. Finally, one afternoon you swat him in the mouth, land a kick in his chins and claim the upper hand before the science teacher breaks it up. You’ve won. Applause rains in from the swing sets. Days later the fight is described as a cage match from Wrestlemania X. You are the man. Then the next week you go out to play 4-square and the bully wants another go. And this time he has a stick.

The Steelers have won their last three games by a combined score of 80-12. Chicago, Minnesota and Cleveland have managed one touchdown and two field goals in 12 quarters. Roethlisberger’s thumb is better. They are ready and sick of hearing how the power in the AFC North has switched from the Burgh to the Nati. Pittsburgh wants Cincinnati’s head on a plate.

Yes, the game would be in Paul Brown Stadium. That means nothing. The Steelers are 4-0 in PBS the past four years. They laugh at hostile stadiums. I think they even prefer that the game would be in Cincinnati so they can make a mess in the Bengals backyard and leave them to clean it up.

Palmer has looked human of late. Big Ben will not throw another 3 interceptions. I do not feel good about this at all. But I’ll tell you what I DO feel good about…

Cincinnati v. Jacksonville. The Jaguars are beat up – Taylor is suspect every play and Leftwich is doubtful. In fact, I hope Leftwich DOES come back. He has not taken a live snap since Thanksgiving. The Jags could only muster 10 points against the 49ers, just two weeks ago. Their best receiver is old man Jimmy Smith. And never underestimate the effect of cold weather on a southern team. They cannot come into Cincinnati and beat the Bengals.

And yes, the Bengals would have to go to Indianapolis the next round. Who cares? You have to eventually go to the RCA Dome anyway. I would rather go sooner than later. The Colts will not have played a meaningful game in over a month. The psyche of the team is still reeling from the loss of Dungy’s son. They are bound to be rusty. And if the Bengals can get a lead, you may sense a wave of panic trickle through the Indianapolis crowd. ‘Oh my god – we almost went undefeated and now we are losing at home in out FIRST play off game! Holy crap, throw it deep so we can get a score.’ Who knows, maybe Manning starts chucking that piggy at the men in orange.

I think the Bengals lose to the Steelers at home in round one. And that would be embarrassing. I would not be able to watch SportsCenter for weeks. ‘Looks like the kittens were not ready for prime time after all! The Steelers show the ‘Gals who rules the North. Redemption for Steel town.’ Not good times.

I would say to coach Marvin Lewis that he should tank the game against KC but I don’t think that is necessary. The Chiefs don’t lose at home – not at this time of the year and not with Larry Johnson running with a purpose. And when the final gun fires, Kansas City will be 10-6 and go home so they can watch the playoffs on television, the Steelers will make plans for New England where they will lose and the Bengals will begin preparations for Jacksonville. And I will be smiling.