Bengals 2008 - Back to the Future

The Cincinnati Bengals went 3-13 in 1998. Just another terrible season in a lost decade-plus of football. Nothing remarkable happened that year. The Gals started slow (1-3 in September) and steamed to double digit losses with a nifty 9-game losing streak. There is no reason to ever discuss the 1998 Bengal campaign. Unfortunately, a decade later, Cincinnati has managed to build a team that will resurrect those lost memories.

Let’s compare and contrast the 1998 and 2008 Cincinnati Bengals:

Coaching: Bruce Coslet (’96 – ‘00) vs. Marvin Lewis (’03 – ’08)

Coslet took over for Dave Shula in the middle of the 1996 season and guided the Bengals to a 7-2 finish over their last 9 games, almost making the playoffs. This late surge inspired Bengal fans, as did the speak that Coslet was an offensive “mastermind”. The Bengals never won more than 7 games under his watch. Coslet was accused of losing the team and was notoriously snippy with the media. He had a terrible haircut and was prone to spitting fits during games. He quit after the third game of the 2000 season.

Lewis took over for Dick LeBeau after a putrid 2-14 season in 2002. Marvin was a defensive “genius” who was coordinator for the Baltimore Ravens defense in their 2000 Super Bowl season. He promised to clean house and bring a new attitude to Cincinnati. Owner Mike Brown even granted Lewis the power to make personnel decisions. Marvin rewarded him with respectable .500 seasons and then hit the ceiling with 11 wins in 2005 and a playoff appearance. Since then, the team has been tainted by colorful interpretations of the law off the field and underachievement on it. Lewis treats the media with utter contempt and will mock any reporter who dares question such holy subjects as strategy or clock management. He also tries to say the word “football” 75 times during each press conference (ex. "well, that football player made a great football play for his football team..."). Lewis has been accused of losing the team and was publicly embarrassed by his owner when castaway Chris Henry was welcomed back into the Bengal bosom.

Receivers: Carl Pickens and Darnay Scott vs. TJ Houshmanzadah and Chad Johnson

This is the easiest comparison. Only one paragraph needed for the two tandems. Stat whores (all). Complaints about “getting mine” (all). Prone to tantrums on the field (TJ, Pickens). Intelligence of a steak knife (Scott, CJ). Can’t go over the middle (Scott, CJ). Think they are more valuable then they are (all). Think they can roll out of bed and make the pro bowl (TJ, CJ, Pickens). Can’t make the big catch when it counts (Scott, CJ). Play does not translate to wins (all).

Running Backs: Corey Dillon vs. Kenny Watson and Chris Perry

Dillon rushed for 1300 yards on this stink team. Watson and Perry will be lucky to combine for that total.

Offensive Line:

The 1998 team actually had a healthy Willie Anderson in his second year. What does the 2008 squad have? Fat bodies. That and franchise player Stacey Andrews. Way to use that franchise tag wisely, Bengals! A current Bengal lineman was actually quoted saying that if the 2008 group stayed healthy, they could be the best in the league. That is laughable. Cincy ranked 24th in rushing in 2007 and Carson was bludgeoned all pre-season. Puke.

Defense:

It’s not even worth breaking this unit down into position groups. And there is no use distinguishing the two groups because the traits are the same. The defense cannot get pressure on the quarterback without sending at least 6 rushers. Miserable tackling. Blitzes are poorly disguised and never get home in time. Cornerbacks give too much cushion to receivers and are not physical. Inability to get the big 3-and-out when they need it. A soft unit devoid of passion. No team ever fears a Bengal defense. Still.

Quarterback: Neil O’Donnel vs. Carson Palmer

Stick Jon Kitna’s right arm onto Carson Palmer’s body and you have Neil O’Donnel. I swear to god. Palmer is a STATUE. And with this offensive line, he is a statue lying on the ground. If Palmer does not have a nice, cushy pocket to settle himself into, good things are not going to happen. He does not maneuver well in tight spaces and cannot vary his arm angles to adjust to the rush and available throwing lanes. He is a robot with limited functionality. There are a couple scenarios that are programmed into his CPU. If a play falls outside of those parameters, system failure.


From where I am sitting, I don’t see much difference between the two teams. Maybe if we combined the best of both, the Bengals could reach another glorious 8-win season.

And how did we get here? Same old. Same old ownership (Mike Brown and his wacky offspring) with the 1950 family hardware store business plan. Same old philosophy that the coaches should spend their time scouting in the off season (instead of game planning). Same old leaders too cheap to employ an adequate scouting department. Same old half-ass free agent signings (Average Antwan Odom from Tennessee and backup TE Ben Utecht from Indianapolis) to fool the fans into thinking they are trying. Same old silly talk out of training camp from the players gushing how practices are “crisp” and the defense is “fast” and there is a “new attitude”. Same old player cuts coming years too late (Willie Anderson, Deltha O’Neal).

Not that anything I have said is against the grain. It’s a difficult task, finding a sane person excited about the 2008 Bengals. I have not felt this much gloom going into a Bengals season since the Shula years. And even then I would delude myself into pipe dreams of a 10-win season.

Bold Predictions:

· The Bengals start the season 2-10
· TJ Houshmanzadeh gets ejected from a game for spitting on a referee
· TJ and Chad get into a fist fight in the locker room; the team downplays the incident
· Chad Johnson loses his mind mid-season, has a tantrum in front of any media outlet that still cares, fakes an injury, and vows not to play for the Bengals in 2009 (wait… this has already happened)
· Carson Palmer is injured in game 12 (shoulder) and is done for the season
· Backup QB Ryan Fitzpatrick leads the Bengals to two wins in their final 4 games. His inspiring play, specifically his scrambling ability and knack for making plays out of the pocket, cause murmurs of a QB controversy in the Tri-state area
· Marvin Lewis is fired after game 12 and is replaced by defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer
· Bengal fans, inspired by a 2-2 finish and the positive chatter of coach Zimmer, renew their season tickets
· The Brown family assures Bengal fans that the team is “only a few players away” and express confidence that Zimmer has them on the right track
· The Browns, secluded in their ivory tower atop Mt. Bengal, giggle and count their money

2008 Final Record: 4-12, last place in AFC North