Two sentences

Some days I really love it here and I look around and admire the beauty and the wild rides into town are like a roller coaster and the people are so genuine and all the little inconveniences seem almost cute and I love the cool mornings and the breezy evenings and the piles of books that I would never have read and my simple weekends and hiking in the untamed terrain 100 yards from my house and the kids that stare at me in wonder and the secretary in the office that greets me every morning with 'moning Maaaaaark' that makes me weak in the knees and the great rains that come at night and the South Pacific Export beer and the fresh bananas and papayas that are picked off a tree down the road and Friday afternoon drinks at Mt. Wilhelm hotel with John and Marie the bar lady who I have a crush who happens to be 16 years old and Rugby League and the ladies at the market who smile when they see me and the old timers who call me 'boss' and kids on the road who yell 'WHITE MAN!' when we roll on by and the ladies at the computer shop who cheer with me when I can actually connect to the internet and our principal who giggles like a kid and owns a bright, pink coat that makes him look like a 9-year old girl and the students who call me Mr. Bower but pronounce it wrong and badmitton against the Philippine priests on Saturdays who tear me to shreds and curry chicken and the genuine reverence I receive when I tell people I am a volunteer from the USA and the singing from the church I can hear from my porch and 'Supersound' on Thursdays and all the magnificent people from around the world that I get to hang out with and that strange feeling I get every time I leave the campus because I have no idea what is going to happen over the course of the next few hours and on these days I just can't imagine being anywhere else in the world.

Some days I hate it and I am sick and tired of looking at the dirty town of Kundiawa and the children without shoes and the groceries without food and the awful bumpy ride on the highlands highway and I can't stand my one channel on the television with the commercials I have seen 1000 times and I am sick of hearing dogs barking and babies crying and the church bell that rings every morning at 6am and I close my eyes in disgust when the power cuts out for the second time that day and the internet I had been waiting to get on for a week does not work because somebody vandalized the communication tower and I can't call the VSO office because the phone lines are down and the meeting I scheduled for 3pm still hasn't started at 3:30pm because everyone is on 'PNG time' and I can barely look at another tuna sandwich or corned beef and noodles dish and I hate the mosquitoes that I can never kill until they have already sucked the mud out of my shoulder and the fact that everyone stares at me and watches every single move I make and the creepy men at Mingende who are pissed on steam and yell at the world and the drunk guys that hang on my arms and tell me how much they love me and spending another night alone in my house looking at a two month-old Sports Illustrated and a novel with missing pages because the school nun tore out the ones she felt inappropriate and on these days I just want to walk into McDonalds and order 4 Big Macs without onions, a large Coke with extra ice since I can get refills, buy a USA Today and only look at the pictures, sit in a corner where I can be anonymous and call every friend I know on my mobile phone and revel in my Americaness.