My Colleagues

While in Madang on holiday, a VSO volunteer from Kenya approached me with a wide smile. He told me that he had a funny story involving members of the staff from Rosary. The first words out of my mouth were 'oh, dear lord.' I braced myself for what was to come.

Charles is an agricultural teacher at a college in Wewak (on the north coast of PNG). While teaching agricultural studies, he is attempting to build a practical studies curriculum in his school. Since Rosary has a practical studies curriculum in place (in theory), he wanted to come down to Kondiu and check out our operation. Rosary accepted his request and even agreed to send a transport to Hagen (he flew into Hagen from Wewak) to pick up Charles and his team. I thought this was an extremely gracious gesture by Rosary, specifically considering the limited resources we claim to be suffering from and the fuel costs involved in a round trip to Hagen. (I later realized that the head of our practical skills department had a loan application pending in Hagen and wanted to check the status - this was his way of conjuring a free ride.)

Word circulated around the campus that a school vehicle was going to Hagen.

ROAD TRIP!!! Three other teachers and the deputy principal seized the opportunity and piled into the idling van. Now, there is nothing wrong with a group of guys going on a ride. Unfortunately, it was Tuesday morning and school was most certainly in session. Nevertheless, the van sped off into the day leaving full classes staring at blank chalkboards.

So, you have yourself a crisp PNG morning, the open road, a driver and four of your buddies all playing hooky. I guess there is nothing left to do but to buy a few slabs of beer and drink as fast and as much as you can. And drink they did.

Try to imagine poor Charles, a mild-mannered African who does not drink, waiting in Hagen for his transport to Rosary where he is hoping to gain some insight into how a practical studies department should operate. All of a sudden, a van comes screeching to a halt in front of your face and out pours five men, drunk as lords, scrambling into the bushes to relieve their bulging bladders - and this is your ride. He climbed in gingerly amidst crazy drunk talk and hearty pats on the back and away they went.

The traveling fraternity party sped back towards Kondiu as Charles did his best to make sense of the mad men surrounding him. He was offered beers but calmly declined. He was about to be saved from this tragedy on wheels as the turn for Kondiu approached when someone made the realization that they were out of drinks. Much to Charles' horror, the bus sped right by Kondiu and continued on to Kundiawa in quest for an alcohol refuel. The excitement was yet to come.

As the bus neared Kondiu, one of the teachers in the back seat whistled a beer out of the window and into a garden. He picked a bad spot. There is a section of the Highlands Highway, on the way down to Kundiawa, where the surrounding landscape is beautifully maintained. It's quite impressive - Jane calls it 'Garden Village'. The people who care for this land do not take kindly to litter bugs. The infraction was spotted and word was signaled down the road. I have no idea how this was accomplished but in an amazingly short period of time, a roadblock was assembled. So, only a few hundred meters away from the spot of the flung bottle, an angry mob of stone carrying Papua New Guineans were waiting.

The van was forced to stop and was quickly surrounded. I can only think of Charles, sitting in the middle seat of the van wondering how in the world did he ever get involved in such a debacle. The crowd demanded compensation. (Now, I usually bristle at this whole compensation business, but in this case I completely agree. There is no reason for a grown man to toss a beer bottle into someone's yard - especially when more than half the people that trudge along that path do so barefoot) They asked for 30 Kina, which is more than reasonable. The Rosary crew scoffed at such a figure. The culprit of the hurled trash wanted to get out and fight and had to be shouted down by the remaining passengers. Tempers began to flare. Charles sat paralyzed. Eventually, they agreed to a settlement of 4 Kina and disaster was averted.

As Charles finished his story I was stupefied. At the beginning of the story, I was very excited and shuddered 'yes' at every turn. By then end, I was a little embarrassed. I never asked Charles how the meeting went, though I don't think he'll be coming back.
-------------------------