Golf

I played golf a couple times while in Madang. The first time out, it took me three holes to get over the fact that it only cost me 2 freaking kina. The course is right on the water and filled with tall palm trees. The caddies rushed my friend Marie and I (a VSO from the Phillipines) as we approached the first hole but we waved them off.

The fairways and greens were well maintained. Unfortunately, the course is also covered with random pieces of trash* that float across the grounds. This is maddening for I mistook my ball for a crumbled up napkin about 10 times. You have to guess when approaching the greens because none of the holes have flags (they all would be stolen if left out). Then again, considering my golf game, it wouldn’t make a difference if I knew where the flags were anyway. I was lining up for a putt when one of the stray dogs scattered about the course planted himself in my path and began rigorously licking himself. I didn’t have the heart to shoo him away and took a two stroke penalty.

A teenage kid with a limp followed us the first few holes. He diligently placed a stick in the holes to serve as a flag as we closed in on each green. I figured he was going to tail us the whole way, performing flag duties, and then ask for a little money. At the third whole, Marie’s drive went into the drink. The kid walked up to edge of the water. It was apparent he was going to dive into the pond and fetch her ball. We scampered over to him and told him not to bother. He shook his head in understanding. As we went on to the fourth hole, I looked back and saw that our flag man had stripped down to his bare ass and dived head first into the shallow abyss. He found the ball and triumphantly walked off with his prize.

There is a neighborhood surrounding the golf course, though these homes weren’t exactly mansions. A group of kids took an interest in our game and by the ninth whole had amassed quite a gallery. They watched our drives and then hustled down to fringe of the green as we set up for our approach shots. They sat in complete silence. The PNG Open. I was actually a bit nervous when I went to swing, feeling the pressure. They even offered a polite golf clap as my chip sailed over the green and into the brush. I tipped my hat as my ninth shot rattled into the hole. Hearty cheers all around.

*I can never find a trash receptacle in this country. Ever.